Your Amazing Heart
by Hikari-Hero
Summary: Please, that’s all I want, is for you to be happy again, for you to not worry so much, I want you to be the one I remember.' Elricest R&R plz!


Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist is NOT mine, if it was, well, you'd know ;

Pairing: Elricest (Edward/Alphonse) if you do not like them as lovers, do NOT read, simple as that.

Hikari: Alright, this is my first time attempting first person POV, it's in Alphonse's, just in case your wondering. R&R plz!

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_**Your Amazing Heart**_

I lay curled up in my bed, my eyes are heavy now, but I just don't want to sleep, I want you here with me, to know that you came home. I'm so tired, but I won't rest until I see you, and know that you are safe. But I can't help but think; what if you never come back? What if something happens to you? You always stay out so late, and I wonder if you're okay. But you told me to stay, no matter what, you told me to stay here and wait for you.

When you're here, you're always tired. And I feel bad, is it because you have to deal with me being so weak? So vulnerable to everything you could think of? Maybe it was better if you left me the way I was. You're not who you used to be, you don't smile much anymore. And I feel like that's my fault.

In the mornings, you're always so rushed, but never fail to make sure that I'm okay. Before you walk out that door, you always grab my shoulders and look me straight in the eye, and tell me to be safe and that you'll be back as soon as you possibly can. I give you a small nod and silently promise to you that I'll do as you said.

You always told me that you hated it when I cried, and that you don't understand why I cry so much nowadays. When I was little I didn't cry as much as I do now. Or that's what I heard you say, when you were in your study last night. Do I worry you? Am I a burden to you? I'm sorry, please, forgive me.

I can't stop myself from crying now, as I lay here in this room, just me and no-one else. And I know that you don't like it when I cry, but I can't stop, I can't do what makes you happy anymore. I'm not strong enough to be like you, I want to, but I can't, I just can't.

Can you forgive me? You have to you have to work so hard to support us both, because I'm not able to take care of myself yet, I can't do what you ask and I can't make you smile.

I could never ask you these things in person. Why do I need you so much? I mean, I've always been with you, through thick and thin, and I took care of you for those years we searched. But now you're taking care of us _both_ and it's just not fair to you.

When I wasn't like this, your life was so much easier, wasn't it? You didn't have to work so hard, you didn't have to stay in one place for this long, you got to do things you wanted to do, and you'd smile.

I miss that smile and the way your eyes would glisten when you were happy. You're not the person I remember, your eyes are dull now, always tired, always worrying. Can I make it better? I could leave and take care of myself, that way you could smile again and not have to worry so much.

You don't need me like I need you. I want you to be the big brother I remember; I want you to be happy. I want to see that smile one more time. Please, that's all I want, is for you to be happy again, for you to not worry so much, I want you to be the one I remember.

As I lay here waiting for you to come home, I keep asking myself all of these questions, wondering if you really want me to be with you. Would it be better for you if I wasn't here? Could you smile again if you didn't have to look after me, to baby me?

Can you be yourself once more? I need you to be happy, whatever I can do to make you smile, I'll gladly do it, I just--I just want to see you be energetic again. Will the old you come back if I cry hard enough? Will you be the one that I know? Can you be, just this once, the one that I love so much?

I can hear you now; you're coming into our room, probably to check on me before you head off to bed. As you shut the door, I close my eyes, hoping that it's too dark for you to see the tears on my face.

"Al?" Your voice is so calming. I can hear your footsteps as you walk across the worn hardwood floor, and it sounds like you're getting closer to me. Moments pass by and I can feel your hand pressed gently against my cheek. Then I feel you tense and I know that you felt the tears.

Never in my life have I expected what you did next. Strong arms wrapped around me and I felt myself being lifted onto your lap, holding me tightly, your flesh hand stroking my tear-stained cheek soothingly. With your arms around me, I feel so secure and warm. The way you hold me now, it seems so protective, like you believe that I will shatter into a million pieces if you let go of me.

I fail to comprehend why you come back home day after day when this life is so difficult for you to live. Wouldn't it be easier to just stop thinking about me? That way you could travel again and wear that broad smirk on your face once more.

You've got such a big, warm heart, Niisan. You never just stand by and watch people you care about get hurt. I love how you refuse to give up and how you keep pushing through all the hard times, showing how strong you really are. I want to be just like you, Edward.

Your arms tighten around me, pressing me against your chest. You're so protective towards me, Niisan, why is that?

"Shh." Your voice is little more than a whisper, probably because you think that I am sleeping, "Don't cry, I'm here...I'm here." I know you're here, and I know that you hate it when I cry. I try to force back all the thoughts that make my eyes water. I'll do my best to do everything that makes you happy.

I feel your breath against my face, are you getting closer, or did I just imagine that? After brushing my bangs away, your lips brush against my forehead. My stomach is filled with butterflies now, and I can feel the heat rush to my cheeks, a dark blush claiming my features. I can't help it now; I slowly open my eyes and look into yours.

"Did I wake you?" I shake my head in response, "Oh...that's good." You sigh, sounding tremendously relieved. You begin to loosen your grip, and I start to panic. Please, don't let go, Niisan, I don't want to be cold and lonely again. I find myself clinging to you tightly, the tears coming back with new force.

"Please." That one word was all I could manage, the only thing that came to mind when I felt you pull away. Hesitantly, I force myself to look up into your questioning eyes, the eyes that I know so well. Unable to keep eye contact with you, I look away, not wanting you to see the tears.

Then I felt your hands on either side of my head as you gently force me to look back into your golden eyes. Your thumb brushes away one of my tears, your skin is so rough, not like it used to be when we were younger.

"Al." My name fell from your lips as you looked back into my eyes, currently red and swollen from the tears. Your voice is gentle and loving. As you look at me, I can feel my heartbeat accelerate within my chest.

I find myself unable to look away from your gaze. Your eyes hold so much emotion, they're so intense, and I can feel myself crumble just looking into them. My defenses are gone and I just fall limp, not knowing what else I can do now.

You look so uncertain right now, but your eyes still hold onto mine. My chest tightens as you lean in closer to me, pressing our foreheads together. The way you're looking at me right now just sends my mind reeling. All I can think of is how amazing you are, Niisan.

We stay perfectly still for what seems like an eternity; my heart pounding and I half expect it to explode. Then you close the distance between us, crashing our lips together awkwardly, sending jolts of electricity up my spine. Startled by the sudden, desperate kiss, I find myself frozen in your arms. And before I could react, you pull away, both of us gasping for air to satisfy our starving lungs, unable to look away from each other's gaze.

"Alphonse, I'm so—" I held my finger to your lips, cutting your apology short. You look back at me, confused and worried. I merely give you a smile back.

"Don't." I murmured with a shake of my head, "You don't need to be sorry." I assured you, looking back into your honeysuckle eyes, waiting patiently for your reaction. Only then, did I notice your flushed cheeks.

"Al, I think I love you." You struggled with your sentence, still breathless from before. Before I have time to reply, I find our lips locked together again, your fingers entangling themselves in my messy hair. My hands grab at your clothing, pulling myself unbelievably closer to you. You're so amazing; I don't think I could begin describing how incredibly precious you are to me.

When we part, I see the smile on your face and in that moment, I realized why you weren't smiling before. I could see it all in your eyes. You worried and thought you were disgusting, that I would push you away and never want to see you again. No matter what anybody else says, you're my amazing big brother.


End file.
